Archive for August, 2011

Basics…are they overlooked?

Author: admin

Aug 22

In a world full of technology I spend my day communicating across multiple platforms trying to juggle various issues and be aware  enough to hopefully spot the major problems before I smack right into them.  I go from a work environment to a home environment and think nothing of it as my children gravitate towards their own electronic gadgets.

A person said to me today “I fear this electronic chat is preventing us from communicating since it is so quiet and no one speaks anymore, just the mere sound of ‘Hi’ makes people jump.”  To which I reply, “Ha – as long as you sit next to me you’ll never run out of talking.”

The humor in this is that at most any given time I can be found chatting via IM, email, telephone, FB or text.  Lots of two way communication going on at which I think I am hearing what people say, but I don’t think it’s sinking in.  Hearing is not listening, I know this and I am trying to listen, but I am starting to think the distraction from what is coming next is preventing any real understanding.

I say this with a heavy heart because I am making an effort to slow down. An effort to not run the gammet of daily questions with my children, but to pointedly  stop and ask them something individually.  I making an effort to not correct the little things they do and expect that they will know or understand why I do it without explaination.  I am making the effort to stop and ask the questions I think they know…and often enough I am surprised by the answers.

In a world where we want this or that gadget because they make life so much better.  In a world where ‘work smarter, not harder’ is our motto and there is an app for almost everything….have we lost sight of the basics?

Basic communication?

Basic Math?

Basic spelling?

Basic manners?

Basic curtosy towards others?

The state of the economy and war lead the news.   Physical education and music and art are reduced to minimal time in school so they can focus on state mandated tests.  Kids rarely say ma’am or sir anymore and too often expect something to be given to them with little to no output from them.   All the while we work 40+ hrs a week to make ends meet and feel like it should go further when it only just gets us by.

Today my son couldn’t tell me what month came after April.  10 years old and he didn’t know what the 12 months of the year were.  I couldn’t believe it.  He can look it up and figure it out if given the internet, his answer….”why do I need to know this?”

I take responsibility for not realizing he did not know this, but it’s not just him and it’s not just 12 months…it’s the basics that should be second nature that have been overlooked that I find so disheartening.

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Filed under: Family Life

Unnoticed

Author: admin

Aug 18

I feel unnoticed and I don’t want to feel this way.  I want to scream from the rooftop, shout from a pulpit, declare “look at me” from my soapbox and yet as much as I want someone to take notice of what I do and who I am…there is an overwhelming fear that I will offend someone, that I will be unjustly full of myself, that I don’t have a right to request such attention that I am paralyzed where I stand furious I can’t move forward and mad enough that I won’t back down.

Where does that leave me?

Nowhere I am comfortable being.  No where good.  Nowhere but stewing in my own pot of pity and it is wearing me down.  I try to be a positive person and treat each experience as a chance to excel.  I want to believe that if I do what I feel needs to be done with compassion and treat others the way I want to be treated that life will repay me in kind.  However, I am not perfect and I am not always the best at practicing what I preach and it is times like these that I feel used and abused and wonder why I do what I do.

It is times like these that I feel nameless in a faceless world where everyone is out for themselves and I am just helping them pass me by believing I am doing a ‘good’ thing, while really screwing myself.  It’s moments like this I retreat into myself.  I pull up the walls and smile on the outside and go thru the motions inflicting mandatory solace on myself, mad the rest of the world looks so free.  It’s times like this the dark cloud hangs overhead and I sit alone screaming a big F-YOU! to the world where only the sound of the words reverberate off the walls, echoing only in my head with no one the wiser.  It’s moments like this I want to hurl every brutally honest truth I keep locked away and say “the hell with what you think – I.DON’T.CARE” consequences be damned.  It’s times like these…I cannot be the bigger person and so instead I hide inside.

I want to be bigger than I am.  I want to feel like I matter.  I want to make a difference.  I want to know someone believes I can do anything I put my mind too as much as I believe it.  I want to be pushed and challenged and then told ‘good job.’  I don’t want the far too few and rarely given ‘Thank You’ to be the only bread crumbs of hope.  And I don’t want to justify the lack of notice with the empty sentiment “That’s just the way it is” because it’s crap.

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